Day 73 of #100daysoflovingmoney
A few months ago I had the idea that I wanted to take a small chunk of money that I had and do something differently with it. Most of the time this money was what I like to call my Fun Money ! Money to go have lunch, or buy something I wanted with no questions asked. My husband and I have done this for ourselves for years. We agreed a long time ago that we both deserved to have a little money that was not dictated by the other person. Which has honestly been a saving grace in our marriage since I have been not the main income earner for a long time.
Now my idea with this money was it was there and it was MINE and it was for SPENDING---so I did, mostly on eating out with friends. I would get to the end of the month pretty much spending what I had whereas my husband does not hardly spend his and has a ton of money saved up ! I was just fine with this arrangement until I started to go through this money challenge and I really started to look at where and what I spending money on but more importantly --WHY I was spending it.
This is where the idea started to trickle in about using the resources I already had and how could I manage them in a way that felt better in the long run. Well I was still just trickling in money from my services but I did have this fun money ! So how could I use that money differently without feeling deprived.
What I decided to do was take half of that money plus anything I received from my services and let it build. My new intention was to save enough money to pay for our summer vacation or pay off a small debt. I wanted to build up enough to surprise my better half. Quickly that money seemed to grow and I kept it with me to see it and touch it and physically watch it build up. This I found out about myself earlier was a motivator to me--actually touching and feeling and seeing the money build. Remember the coins--which I am still passionately still collecting. Be careful I swoop up change so fast --no one can set it down around here without me putting claim on it.
One day as we were discussing our finances I turned to him and said you know I actually have some money to contribute to our fund. He looked at me with such a surprise look and was like "where did that come from ?" To him, he knew my habits of spending my money down to the penny. After I told him how much I had and what I did to build it up, I got the most satisfying smile from him. He was so thrilled that I was going to put that money towards the family.
Later that week he called me from work to tell me again how much he appreciated that I did that and how much it meant to him and he really wanted me to know that. I mean what person in ANY relationship would not LOVE that !!
Here is a couple of golden nuggets I realized. One is that I kept wanting MORE, MORE, MORE . Without paying attention to what I already had access to. By looking at what I had differently and CHOOSING to do something different with it, I not only had immense gratitude for that money but was WAY more satisfied with what I already had. Two, how much joy and appreciation it gave to my husband that I would give up my own money to do something for the family --which is something he has been doing for the last decade. I think it just said to him, "hey I am in this with you and we are going to contribute TOGETHER in any way we each can.
I will admit--he has had the bigger portion of financial responsibility and I know it felt so good to him to feel like he had a partner in crime again. You know what it felt amazing to me as well. It felt really good to know that if nothing else it took a small burden off his shoulders and it gave us a chance to work together again in a way that I had not allowed myself to do in a really long time.
He gave me such a gift that day and saving that money to give back to my family was so much more satisfying than any meal or outing or book I could have bought. I chose that, I intentionally wanted to do that and the energy behind that was so different than the feeling of Having to do something.
Have I felt deprived with Half of my Fun money ? NOOOOO, not in the least because most of it got leaked away to things I have no recollection of. In the long run I am actually contributing back to myself and back to my family at the same time !
I totally get that I do a lot for family around the house--I am the heartbeat of this crew--but when you have had money hangups --it sure feels good to move through them in new exciting ways !
Amy Lynn Sell
My goal is to give people a new perspective that enables us all to have health without a prescription. Mind Body work is my passion. I provide education and resources to those who are open to addressing their health through 5 Key areas of Nutrition, Emotions, Physical, Spiritual, and Energetic areas of the body.