Day 38 of #100daysoflovingmoney
New Belief: Is is SAFE (OKAY) to NOT make money !!
Why on earth would I SAY that ?! Well I will tell you why and it started with this quilt that I am selling on Swap and Shop. Two things happened this past weekend that brought something up to the surface that got my full attention !
The first thing that happened was a business opportunity that presented itself to me, well actually one I have known about for awhile now and as much as I like the IDEA of this opportunity, there is something that just doesn't fit within my soul. The 2nd one was this Quilt that I had for sell on Swap and Shop.
Let me tell you about the quilt first. I had this quilt at a certain price and felt that it was a good price for the product. I had someone offer me less, which was no big deal other than she offered a lot less and then wanted me to drive out of my way to meet. I did what most of do when selling I started to negotiate. What popped up for me in this process was that space where I was starting to meet her demands because I was telling myself "well some money was better than no money", while at the same time feeling crummy about this whole exchange.
The 2nd part was about this business opportunity that if I chose to let it go or not make it happen than I don't have a back up plan !! Anyone out there ever felt like that ? I am going to say that's a YES.
Between these Two Situations it became apparently clear to me that I had this underlying belief that
"It is not okay to make money" !!!
Do you realize how BIG this IS ??!! This particular belief is the root of half of my self sabotage. I mean think about it. What do we do the minute something is off limits or not okay--we do just the opposite of our DESIRE !!!
** It's not okay to eat Bread --all of a sudden we crave bread and will eat it in secret
** Its not okay to be spending money--Oh Hello new shoes !
** Its not okay to date "those kind of men"--Well guess who you just went out with last Saturday night
** Its not okay to be yourself---You will keep pretending to be something else until you are mentally and emotionally spent
Do you get where I am going with this. I made it "NOT OKAY " to NOT make money. prt of me that stilled believed that I would be "unworthy" if I did not make money. I was not worthy if I did not pay for things myself. I was not worthy if I could not financially take care of myself. If I didn't make money--then what was I good for--just a freeloader who is irresponsible.
That feels pretty yucky, doesn't it. When I recognized those things still looping in my thoughts, it made so much sense to me. This is why I was willing to take less and drive farther for this Quilt than I wanted to --because if I didn't than I was turning down money and it was NOT OKAY. This is why I would continue to try to earn money with this opportunity even though it sucked the life out of me, because it was NOT OKAY to make money.
I thought of ALL of things over the years I did that I either did because I thought I HAD TO. All the times I gave into a transaction or gave my services away because some money was better than no money. I could not even tell you where this Belief started and/ or Why. At this point I don't really care. What I do care about, is that I now know that it was there and I can start to rewire that in my brain and body.
This is not permission to not make money. This is actually just the opposite ! Its almost like reverse psychology to the brain. When something finally becomes "SAFE" or "OKAY" there is no longer a need to PUSH BACK against it. I have a theme of Freedom that I came into this life with and anywhere and everywhere my freedom is challenged, I find myself pushing back and doing the opposite of what I desire. So for me this is HUGE !!!!!!
Will I take that business opportunity and run with it anyway--I just may. Will I sell the Quilt for less--NO WAY. That I am firm on my price and how far I will go because It is NOW SAFE for me to not make money and I don't have to "settle" for a crappy transaction anymore.
Money, 100 days of loving money, beliefs, subconscious, limiting beliefs
Educator on the connection of mind and body, Hippie at Heart, mother of 4, Living in the MIdwest --changing to change the world one idea at a time !